Change your life spells was fairly recently speaking about a so called “relationship problem” with a young girl.
She’s thirty five years old and though she states that she anxiously was looking for being married with kids by now, it hasn’t taken place.
This relationship goal of hers has been the target of her to get a dozen years, and yearly which “happily ever after” life has eluded her she has grown more unhappier with the life of her.
She complains that all the individual men that she meets turn out to be “losers”.
(Another unhappy relationship structure of hers happens to be an angry rage pattern of verbal assault that she explodes into when her expectations are certainly not greeted in a relationship.)
I tried explaining to her that the more she waits for her life to enhance the mental state of her, her pattern of unhappiness grows more and deeper engrained. Which means that she is going to feel frequently trapped in unhappiness under all conditions.
She insisted that her unhappiness is a result of her not being in a loving relationship and she went on to blame the anger of her and melancholy on the men who may have let the down of her.
This particular point of view of hers represents what we can call UNCONDITIONAL unhappiness.
I told her, “While you imagine that your despondency will immediately raise if you could merely get a lucky marriage, you would know very fast that the anguish of yours and anger returns even in case you did meet up with man of the goals of yours. Why? Because your negative emotional pattern is habitual.”
Provided we create our unhappiness someone else’s responsibility, and blame it on our life-conditions, we cultivate an unhappy attitude which seems progressively inescapable.
Another factor at play here has to do with the so-called “losers” she’s drawing.
So long as we be in a bad emotional state, we truly can’t attract or search for good, mentally healthy people to bond with.
We repel sentimentally healthy individuals on a conscious or maybe subconscious level, since our attitude problem “radiates” and others “pick up on” the negative psychological imbalance we live in.
Do YOU endure UNCONDITIONAL unhappiness?
The way out begins as you take responsibility for your emotional reactions and attitudes toward life and toward people, instead of regarding the circumstances of yours or maybe someone else as accountable for the way you feel.
The next task is to examine your attitudes and psychological states until you recognize the way the negativity of yours, not your circumstances, is really all that stands in how between you and happiness.
The 3rd action is to persistently and patiently work on being more aware of your thoughts and your attitudes, therefore you can practice being a bit LESS angry and unhappy and free yourself from the habit of unhappiness, little by small, each day.
As an outcome, you are going to find your life being more appealing just how it is, you’ll bring in “better” folks into your lifestyle, and also you’ll be a little more emotionally consistent and resilient in case you do locate a genuine “winner” of a mate for a healthier, happier marriage.